What are your responsibilities as Intake Coordinator?

My position is that of what I’d call an “ambassadress.”  I’m the first person in line – answering phone calls or e-mails that come in inquiring about the services Post Adoption provides.  There are times when a caller is just looking for someone to listen to them.  It could be an adopted person who has had difficulties in his or her life.  Or it could be a birthmother who has battled with guilt from the day she made her decision up to the time she picked up the phone and dialed The Cradle.

A comment I often hear from callers is, “I know about my adoptive side of the family, but I don’t know anything about my biological side.  What is it that Post Adoption can do to help me?”  That’s when I go into the different services, for example, the medical/social background history, signing the Mutual Consent Registry, or birth relative searches. 

I also give tours of The Cradle – and always promote the Foundation.  I tell visitors, The Cradle really survives on the donations of those who feel the tugging on their heart to give.  I’m not ashamed to ask.  One plea of mine was to a gentleman who found the names of his adoptive parents on a block on our Campaign display, and he was so touched that he gave $6,000. 

What’s the best part of your job?

The best part of my job is to witness the journey.  It begins with me, moves on to Post Adoption Supervisor Nina Friedman, and then to the final connection with a birth relative.  Around three years ago, I was fortunate to be allowed by a birthmother and the adopted daughter to be present when they met for the first time.  It was a very humbling experience.  I was in awe of the way two strangers who shared the same bloodline mirrored each other’s movements – the way they touched each other’s faces and hair, smiled at each other, and the way their hands trembled as they reached out for one another.  We were in tears.  To me, it was a fait accompli – we were catalysts in that successful reunion and it said to me, “Marie, you’re where you’re supposed to be.”  I see the end result and hear the thank yous.  

What are some of the challenges?

The flip side is when a search is not successful, when all avenues have been exhausted and you just cannot find the person.  Or, when someone calls you and is so hopeful and positive, and finds out the birth relative has passed on and there’s nobody else left.  Some adopted persons who call struggle with being adopted, so they carry that burden with them all of their lives.  All you can do is listen, and you do partake in their sorrow.

The hardest call I had, and it still resounds within me, was from a man who found out, at 70, that he was adopted by looking through his family’s papers.  His parents had been gone a long time.  He cried on the phone and asked, “Why, why, why?”  And I said, wait, you never thought of “why” until now.  Were you loved?  Yes.  Do you have children of your own?  Yes.  Do you love them?  Yes.  The only difference for you, I said, was that the love was not from a biological parent, but it was the love of a parent.  He thanked me, and by the time we hung up, he had stopped crying.  He followed through by requesting non-identifying information and was happy with what he received.  That was a negative situation that turned out to be positive.
 
Where did you grow up?

I was born in a city called Bourdon, an affluent suburb of Port-au-Prince.  I was really blessed.  My father was Foreign Minister and we left Haiti for Washington, D.C. when I was 9.  We lived on Columbia Road, in the ambassador’s house.  I didn’t speak a word of English and was in culture shock. 

Because we didn’t speak the language, my older sister and I were bullied.  So our dad sent us to a boarding school in Maryland for the summer to learn English.  We got to the school – two French and Creole-speaking girls – and lo and behold, the 21 other girls were Hispanic.  My sister and I thought, “We’re in trouble here.”  But they decided they were going to teach us Spanish.

When the two months were over and we went back home, Dad said “OK, let’s hear it,” and I said, “Hola Papa.  ¿Cómo estás?”  He said “That’s not English!” and sent me back to the school.  It was a very gloomy place, a cloistered nunnery where they took a vow of silence.  I got wrongly blamed for everything, but I was speaking English within three months!

I graduated from high school in Bethesda, Maryland and started college at Howard University.  But then my father died, so I went to community college and got my AA in beginning business and administration.  My sister was living in Chicago and I didn’t have any family nearby.  I felt very alone, so I moved to Chicago in 1990.       
        
Do you still have family in Haiti?  How have they been impacted by the earthquake?

When we moved to the U.S., my brother stayed in Haiti – he never wanted to leave.  Thank God he, his wife and their children are doing well.  I also have many cousins in Haiti.  The earthquake was a traumatizing experience for me and my whole family.  We cried, but we hung onto each other for support.  The not knowing was the hardest part.  On a daily basis we’d say, “We can’t find this person, we can’t find that person, the house fell on top of so and so.”  I could go down the list but I just don’t want to relive that.  My favorite cousin is still missing and I’m pretty sure she’s gone.  She was my partner in crime when we were little girls and I miss her dearly.  

What do you do in your spare time?

When I’m not at The Cradle, I teach the Bible.  I teach people who need strength in their faith, and I do that well because I believe I have a gift for teaching.  I’m also a special counselor to pastors, the person they come to when they are having any kind of problem.  And I’m a strong, strong believer in prayer.  But I don’t label myself.  If I were to narrow down my faith, I would call it Judeo-Christian, because I take a portion of Judaism and a portion of Christianity and couple them.  I’m also involved with local Haitian kids, who call me “Miss Marie.”

When my father died, I had to rise from the ashes and become who I am today.  I believe the best garment is humility.  When I first meet somebody, they have my respect, my love, my understanding and my patience.